Computer Humor

This stuff isn’t actually funny, but I don’t have the heart to delete it.

Humor in Code/Documentation

An error message from gdm: “According to /var/run/gdm.pid, gdm was already running (1436), but seems to have been murdered mysteriously.”

Line 347 of RedHat’s /etc/rc.d/rc.sysinit file: “#I think this now qualifies as over-engineered.”

Quotes

“Procedures are macros on steroids.” –Professor Reeves

“In reference to parallel computing/processing: ‘You can’t have a baby in one month if you get nine women pregnant.’” –Professor Reeves

“Your printer says, ‘I’m on fire, call the fire department.’” –Professor Reeves

“Image if Ford had said you can’t open the hoods of your car a hundred years ago.” –CmdrTaco

A Joke

A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.” He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero” The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week.” The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.

The frog then cried out, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I’ll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want.” Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, “What is the matter? I’ve told you I’m a beautiful princess, that I’ll stay with you for a year and do anything you want. Why won’t you kiss me?”

The man said, “Look, I’m a computer programmer. I don’t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool.”

C++ Humor

Since I started programming, I’ve ran into some funny, er, functions. Just little things that seem to fit together. This is a collection of all the ones I can remember.

Example 1:

int drinking_too_much() {
   int Bob=0;
   return Bob;
}

In this example, Bob is passed out from drinking_too_much.

Example 2:

node * llist::get_head() {
   node * temp;
   temp=myList;
   return temp;
}

We’re using a queue here. This function just returns the head node (the one that should be handled next). This is really only needed when used in a class (such as a linked list class). Just look at the function’s name.